I love my cat, but at times we don't get along. She gets whiny, she wakes up early, she insists on sleeping on my legs... At times I enjoy exacting revenge on her. The following is a list of things I have discovered she doesn't enjoy.
1. Meowing in the manner of an angry cat. Her ears fly backwards and her eyes widen to a ridiculous width. She also leans back on her hind legs rather comically. Perhaps she had a mother with rage issues and I am bringing back terrible memories for her.
2. Using her as a piano. She actually tolerates it for a moment, but when I break into jazz piano speed, she flips out. Glissandos really make her mad.
3. Giving her fake CPR. During compressions, she simply glares at me, but then when I "blow" on her stomach she loses her wig.
4. Vacuuming. She HATES my vacuum. Whenever I pull it out she hisses and scrambles for safety. I have never tried to vacuum her. I think she might have a heart attack. Then I would have to some actual cat CPR.
5. Having handkerchiefs tied to her. She is not destined for a future as SuperCatface. She tries to crawl out of it, so she winds up walking around the house in a crouched position.
6. Being rolled up in a rug like a burrito. Enough said.
She is a funny cat to have around. Any future cats I have will have a really high standard to live up to.
Random thought for the day: I have never in my life been inside a Bulgari store, but I HATE the way they stylize their their name. Bvlgari. Really? Are we in ancient Rome? Is Julius Caesar around the corner? Are we about to run to the Forum to hear some invigorating debate from the Senate? It makes me angry to see their logo. Not to mention that their store at Northpark is right next to those horrific gigantic statues that mechanically move their hands that are holding hammers. I refuse to walk between them.
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