"I am" I said to no one there. And no one heard at all, not even the chair

As I sit to write today, I realize, I have nothing to say. No quippiness, no philosophical thought, nothing. That could be because I have been editing all day. Word to the hopeful curriculum publishers of the world: EDIT. Nothing has infuriated me more over the last few weeks than having to correct silly fifth grade English mistakes. It’s spelled alley, not ally. You walk down an alley, you have an ally. Hurricane is not a proper noun, unless it is in conjunction with a specifically named hurricane, e.g. Hurricane Andrew. Otherwise, it’s just a regular old improper noun. How would you like to be a regular noun? If proper nouns are proper, are regular nouns unusually uncouth?

My cat loves to wake me up at 7. This isn’t usually a problem, however on the weekends (Which are Sunday and Monday) I don’t particularly want to wake up at 7. I find myself purposely annoying her, “to get back at her”. How lame have I become when the highlight to my evening is taking revenge on a cat?

While we are on the subject of weekends, I would like to say that really enjoy having Monday off. It sucks that the rest of the world is working on my day of… Who am I kidding, I hang out with people I work with, almost exclusively. My one outside friend is a teacher. Our schedules don’t mesh well. Anyway, I like that I can go places without having to deal with crowds. I like that I can go places during rush hour on Monday, and not get stuck in traffic forever. I like that Wal-Mart isn’t overly crowded. I like that I can got to a mall if I need to, and not be inundated by thousands of high school mall-groupies. Instead I get inundated by thousands of retirement home mall-groupies. I like that I can wake up late on Monday morning, and laugh at the rest of the city, because those poor schmucks have to work! I like going to a park and there not be 37 different little league soccer games going on.

The park I go to is in Highland Park. It is an independent city surrounded by the city of Dallas. Mean income? A lot more that I will make in about 16 years. I like going there because it’s still urban, but it’s not busy. Unless you go on a Saturday. Then every investment banker in town is there supporting their kid’s little league soccer game. Or is it lacrosse this time of year? Going at night is nice because it’s one of the few areas in the Metroplex where it is safe to walk at night. Not only are you free from the danger of murder, you are free from the danger of prostitution. Always a bonus.

When I moved here, Ft. Worth Ave. was a lot busier at night. It really was dangerous to be outside after about 9. Even in the apartments, you went inside because there was a good chance a shooting would take place at some point. There used to be a large wooded area behind our apartments where the homeless would live. That was a little unnerving when you were sitting out there, and a head would pop up over the fence asking for change. Even the prostitution has lessened. There are only a few around these days, which is good. One of them, her name is Mona, comes into Metro and talks to us. She always waves at us when we drive by. I really wish that she would let us help her. It breaks my heart every time I see her get into some John’s car.

I began running on Monday. I realized that I am not loosing weight by doing absolutely no physical activity. I have also worked in Diet Coke. JTTW. I’m trying to reduce the amount of Dr Pepper I drink, and I WILL NOT drink Diet Dr Pepper. (BTW, I love that when you type Dr in Word, it recognizes it. I wish the East Coast would recognize it) Despite their advertising, it tastes nothing like regular. I am an expert. I had a picture of Dr Pepper on my phone for almost 3 years. I have a Dr Pepper beanie. I have been several times to the Dr Pepper museum. I would know. So I am resigned to drinking Diet Coke. What a travesty. I have also increased my salad consumption, and decreased my fried deliciousness consumption. I really don’t want to end up extremely over weight. If I have to sacrifice my taste buds in order to prolong my health, I will. And don’t even lecture me on the fact that I can eat healthily and deliciously, because I can’t. I could if I didn’t want electricity on in my house.

The Olympics are over. How sad. I really love the Olympics. It was almost a religion in my house. Along with complaining about the stupidity of the opening ceremony. I was the heretic in that matter. I have always enjoyed the OC’s. (I actually like acronyms that are unusual) I was relieved to have beaten China in the medal count, which brings up the questions, 1.What happened to Russia? We usually are in direct competition with our Eastern “allies” (Please. Anti-communism still reigns, even though they are a federation) and 2. What are we going to do as a nation to secure our top spot, and take back the top gold spot from China? 2012 is around the corner people! We have already given up a lot of our global prestige in the political arena; I for one am not willing to go second to a country like China! We would become even more the global laughing stock! Don’t even get me started on Chinese Olympians. I have NEVER supported them. Ever. I have always rooted for someone, ANYONE else. Probably because of my staunch anti-communist beliefs.

I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong decade. I think that the 60’s would have been a better fit. The 80’s? I barely made a conscious scratch in the squiggly design decade. For one, I feel like I missed out on a lot, not living during the Cold War. I also really like the music from the 60’s-90’s. Once the new millennium began, music took a downhill turn. John Mayer? 50 Cent? Lord, give me the Beach Boys. I almost went to their final concert here in Dallas, but I couldn’t get past the fact that I would have been the youngest person in the room by at least 30 years. I also was fresh out of Hawaiian shirts.

That’s a period on my life I would like to forget. My fat, Hawaiian shirt wearing days at the beginning of High School. Jesus should have taken the wheel then. I would also like to forget my participation in Alien Night.