"I want to know if you're letting me in or letting me go- don't lie..."

I really hate doing things I am not good at. It stresses me out. Example: today, I had to put together a simple 60 piece puzzle for Sunday School. This wasn't exactly a difficult puzzle, but I am TERRIBLE at puzzles. I don't have good spatial cognizance. So as I am standing in the truck, struggling to put this stupid Tinkerbell puzzle together, I found myself becoming overly stressed. It was a puzzle. Come on. How hard can it be? No. Because I wasn't having immediate success, my head started hurting. I became frustrated and annoyed. "I hate Tinkerbell. She is so stupid. Who decided that she should be popular, anyway?" were the thoughts running through my head. I finally got it finished in a rather embarrassing amount of time.

I think I have never gotten into playing sports because it doesn't come naturally to me. "You want me to make this ball go where? With a certain motion? Heck no." I love to excel, but I can't excel at everything. It is a legitimate struggle. I want to be the best, and I can't always be. It is something I am dealing with right now.

I am a rare breed in my group of old friends. Single. Most of the people I hung out with back home are either married, engaged, or childrened. I am quite happy as a single man. Life is good. However, It does make going back to El Paso feel strange. I am now the 17th wheel.

17. That is a good prime number. I have previously expressed my affinity for prime numbers. That hasn't changed. I wish I could spread the cheer that a good prime number gives me.

Speaking of cheer, I am having a really difficult time not listening to Christmas Music. I specifically want to hear "Marshmallow World" by Dean Martin. I LOVE Christmas. I love decorating, music, gifts, lights, spending time with family... The list goes on forever. I can't wait for the day after Thanksgiving when I can put up all my decorations. It's gonna be Christmassy then a mug.

Random thought for the day: In my opinion the most useful line from Aladdin: "The finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan..." I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have added "this side of the river Jordan" to the end of a phrase describing something as the most abundant/best/silliest, etc. Thank you Disney!

"Siam's going to be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness..."

This morning I taught Pastor Clay's class, with the topic of "Setting up Children to Win." I have worked at Metro for over 6 years now, and I have believed in children my whole life. For me, I just expect people to succeed, but unfortunately, success isn't something that the kids I work with really understand. They understand a life of poverty, crime (surrounded by it, at least) and in many ways, neglect. It kills me sometimes to see the kids I love so dearly simply walk away from God. However, one of the students asked me today how you keep going when that happens. I answered as honestly as I could, but it wasn't an easy answer. I told him that I have to remember that God has asked me to invest in these kids, and to plant His word in their lives. When they go their own way, I have to trust that God will, at some point, send someone their way that will have the right word, and will cause that deeply buried seed to burst into life. As I answered him, I saw faces of many kids and teens over the last 6 years that have moved on, and not moved on to a good place. But then, I remember my purpose. To invest in kids lives. There are a couple young men that hang around me now that have incredible potential. I believe in them 100%. I also know that at some point, I may lose contact with them. That is a hard thought to entertain, but it spurs me onto do everything I can to set them up to win. For as long as I am here at Metro I have to make the conscious choice to invest in someone's life every day. Otherwise, I have failed at my mission. God had allowed me to be here to be His hands and feet. I love what I do.

Some people ask me, "Why are you still there? What is the next step?" I just "kicked" a group of brand new 6th graders out of Kids Church. They are the first group of kids I have worked with for a complete elementary cycle: Kinder-5th. Why should I move on? What about the next group of Kindergarteners? Who will be there for them? Why do they not deserve to have someone stick around and love them? That is why I'm still here. There are still so many kids out there to be reached. There are more Ricky's and Timothy's and Gustavo's. There are more Peanut's and Biggie's and Jessie's and Smally's. I can't move on now! God isn't through with me here.

I believe that if you are going to be successful somewhere, it takes time. I'm not saying that I believe you have to commit your entire life to one place. But I think that in order to make a real difference for God, you have to be willing to stick it out for the long haul. That long haul is different for everyone. Investing is a long term thing. You don't see a return overnight, and in some investments, the next generation will be the ones to see the return. The same is true in ministry. That's what I believe, anyway.

Random thought for the day:
I love the words plethora and intrinsic. I don't get to use them often, but when I do, it is always a good day.