There are certain things that you are supposed to like, that I hate. You already know of my hate affair with monkeys, but the following are also quite difficult for me to accept.
1. Silent Night. I really don’t like this song. I really don’t like that the phrase “All is calm all is bright round yon virgin mother and child” are separated musically. Sing it. You will see what I mean. Think of how its broken up. All is calm all is bright | round yon virgin | mother and child. It doesn’t fit right.
2. Marshmallows. Am I the only one who doesn’t like them? I dislike the texture, I don’t really like the flavor, and they are so airy. I really don’t like airy things.
3. Beef. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the hamburger as much as the next American, but I don’t really like whole beef. I can eat the occasional steak (VERY occasional), but to be honest, I don’t really enjoy the flavor.
4. Corn in any dish. I love corn, but only by itself. Don’t even get me started on potato corn chowder. Corn in Taco Soup should be a sin.
5. Soup. I don’t like it. I’m sorry, but I don’t like eating soup under any circumstances. Unless, however, it is Golden Buddha’s hot and sour. It’s messy, runny and usually corn laden. Or vegetable beefy which is even worse. I don’t know why my mother tomatoe-d and green beaned everything when I was growing up, but she did. Consequently I have a very severe aversion to vegetable beef soup because t was always very green beeny/cornescent/tomatoesque. In my mind all soup are cousins to that mess, so I refuse to take part in any soupage. (Not to be confused with Arthur’s version of Qudditch)
6. Spoons. I really don’t like using spoons unless I’m stirring or eating ice cream or the rare soup. One of my greatest pet peeves is people who serve cake and ice cream, and expect you to eat it with a spoon. When that occurs, I won’t eat the cake. I hate eating things that should be eaten with a fork with anything other utensil. Lord, I’d rather eat using tongs.
7. Babies. I don’t think that babies are cute. I don’t think they are ugly, I just don’t look at an infant and think, “How adorable!” Not for me, thank you!
8. Lemon, lime, grape, watermelon or sour apple flavored candy. Why is apple inexorably linked to sour? I like sour things well enough, but not attached to fake apple. Fake watermelon has no taste resemblance whatsoever to real watermelon. Or grape for that matter. I guess fake grape just reminds me way too much of Dimetapp. Which is a thousand percent better than Triaminic. Which is a billion times better than Robitussin. Who decided that the Robitussin flavor should be legal? Seriously, that should be banned as an illegal substance. I can’t imagine any consumable flavor that is worse.
9. Getting clothes for a gift. If it is MLB/NBA related, bring it on. If not, I feel like clothes are too much of a necessity. And I am way too picky to be comfortable with someone deciding what I would like.
10. Drive thru’s. I really hate ordering into that little speaker. I hate trying to pull my wallet out of my pocket. I hate being passed a drink over that abyss between the window and my car. Give me a solid counter and a cash register I can see. That is how we do things in the Musyoki household. Well, the Dallas Musyoki household. My mom loved drive thrus.
There are so many more, but there isn’t enough time. For those of you that actually slogged through this blog, I applaud you and also kind of pity you. You had to hear more of my craziness than you probably bargained for.
