A singer in a smoky room...

One of the things that cracks me up about MySpace is people’s pictures. They take the same shot of themselves over and over, and they give them different captions. Cute, hot, serious, sexy, mad, me, me again, me looking fly, me looking amazing, me loking crazy… They are all the same face! I feel that the "me" is unnecessary. I mean, is anyone confused as to who the person in the photo is, especially when it is identical to the previous picture? It makes me think of a girl who came to church, and on the way home she would practice her different “Lips” in the bus mirror. “These are my cute lips. These are my pretty lips. These are my ‘that boy is tacky’ lips.” On and on. I used to make fun of her but making up ridiculous scenarios for my own lips. “These are my ‘that light better stay green’ lips. These are my ‘I want Chick-Fil-A’ lips.” She didn’t think it was funny.

I could eat Chick-Fil-A every day. There is no reason in the world that would make me like it less. I know I worked there. Perhaps it has seeped into my blood stream and has created a brand new addiction. I love their chicken, their fries, their honey mustard, their Polynesian sauce, their milkshakes… I love CFA. I do not like working there. That was deliverance from the Lord when I left that drudgery. Did you know that I worked there for two years and only made $5.60 when I left? Highway robbery. I made $6.50 when I started and Hot Dog on a Stick, and made $7.00 when I left 11 months later! I only made $5.35 when I started at CFA. Quite unbalanced. I did make more money than all of my friends did. Haha, suckers. I doubt that statement could hold truth today.

I am so close to completing my collection of Seinfeld. Only two volumes to go!

A boy called one of our volunteers “racist” the other day. I quickly put him in his place. I was not very happy with him, and quite bluntly told him the error of his statement. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him that she was married to a black guy…

You can dance, you can dance. Everybody look at your hands...

Lasik commercials drive me crazy. They make it seem like glasses and contacts are equivalent to having to bleach your hair hourly. “Putting on glasses and contacts every day is such a hassle.” Or my favorite, “The holiday season is coming up; there are enough distractions with family alone. Don’t let glasses and contacts be a distraction from your loved ones.” Really? They brag about how much time you will save. It takes me approximately 45 seconds to put in my contacts, and less than a second to put on my glasses. I don’t ever wake up and say, “Ugh! I wish I had Laser corrective surgery so that I could save this .564 second!” Nor do my glasses become a distraction from my family. “Hold on a second Uncle Dennis, I can’t talk right now. These time consuming glasses are very distracting!” Getting Lasik could save you over 319 hours over your lifetime from contacts! That is if you wear them every day for 70 years. Even better, a whopping 3 hours from glasses! How convenient! I will admit, it would be nice not to have to wear glasses or contacts, but neither are burdens. These doctors make it seem like it is some cross to bear, which I have never felt. I honestly don’t even notice my glasses. I have worn them for over half of my life, and except for when my prescription changes, or back in 1997 when I first got glasses, they have never irritated me. So sorry Dr. Boothe, you aren’t selling me on that tactic.

There is a campaign in Washington to help atheists feel more welcomed and included during the winter holiday season. To quote the spokesperson, "Our reason for doing it during the holidays is there are an awful lot of agnostics, atheists and other types of non-theists who feel a little alone during the holidays because of its association with traditional religion." I have no problem with atheists not believing what they don’t, but really? Am I supposed compassionate because they feel left out of the major holidays, which incidentally are all RELIGIOUS HOLIDAYS? Christmas? Christian. Hanukah? Judaism. Kwanza? Let’s leave that out of this. It’s good that they want to celebrate, but please don’t make it seem like the holiday season should disassociate itself with religion. Without the religion, there would be no holidays.

A little girl gave me a picture of Obama praying yesterday. How precious of her. It was cute. That’s all I can say.

There is some rodent that lives above me that apparently has track & field aspirations. It jumps and runs all day. Sometimes it misses the beam and falls. I always laugh at it when it does that. My cat gets quite worked up when Carl Lewis up there starts his morning calisthenics. She chases the sound every which way it goes. Much like the real Carl Lewis, I wish that it would disappear.

...I'd go downtown and buy a Mercury or two

Yesterday was a true joy. After Metro, I went to Chick-Fil-A and ate with Crissy, Ralph and Jessica. I then decided to go to the bank to deposit my check. I was near a Tom Thumb that has a Wells Fargo in it, so I went there. After depositing my check, I went outside to leave, and discovered my car to be completely dead. Not a smidgen of life. This stuck me as odd, because I have driven this car for over two years without a single problem of an electric nature. I called Brent, but he was quite unavailable, so Danielle came to help me. I jumped my car and that started it right up. Until I turned on the A/C. Then it died. I jumped it again and left the air off. We headed back to the apartments, but stayed on the access road. I was quite pleased that my car hadn’t died again, until we got to the light at Fitzhugh. It promptly died. This caused me a considerable amount of agitation, seeing as I was not stuck in a place where jumping was not an easy option. During a red light, I had Danielle pull up right next to me and jump the car as quickly as possible. I managed to speed off without causing any traffic disruptions. Luckily (or unfortunately, depending on how you see it) I have had quite a lot of experience with driving two-footed (Metro trains you in some weird ways) so I drove the remaining 5 or so miles while leaving my right foot ever-planted on the gas pedal. I managed to get home without any further incident, but I am now faced with the decision of what to do. Have I ever mentioned that my hood does not open when my car in on an incline? It must be either flat or on a decline. It is quite possibly the most finicky problem one could ever have with a vehicle.

I believe the problem with my car is the alternator. This is not the original alternator in the car. It has been replaced. The cause of death of these two alternators? Sub-Woofers. When I got this car there was a large pair of subs in the trunk. They had already killed the original alternator. Now they have caused the death of its replacement They are no longer in my trunk, however, their legacy lives on. I feel another grassroots activist group coming on. Oak Cliff Residents for the Prolonged Life of Alternators by the Reduction of Sub-Woofer Usage in America. OCRPLORSWUIA. It just rolls off your tongue!

I made my favorite cookies last night, but my oats are a little old, so they aren’t quite up to my standards. What a shock- something fails to meet my expectations. First my car fails me, then my cookies. What’s next, the Rangers? Wait, to fail my expectations, they would need to win the World Series. COME ON RANGERS, FAIL AWAY!!!

This is really an apt week for something like this to happen. We have talked all week about trusting God when hard times come. Well, here is a hard time! I have to decide what to do. I believe that God has something better for me, but I fell like He wants me to wait. God loves making me wait. I am the Wait King. When I do wait on His timing, things always turn out better than I expect. So for now, I will repair and wait. Who knows, maybe I will be able to bless someone with this vehicle when I finally get a new one! This car kind of fell into my lap. My Lumina (or the Beemer and I called it) was on its way to the grave and the opportunity to get this car came out of nowhere. If something like that happens again, which know how God works with me, it probably will, I would like to be able to give or sell this car at a very low price to someone who really needs it. I hope that opportunity is opened to me. We shall see.